My new years resolution is to post once a week LOL and seeing as we live in NZ I would say the year doesn't start till february with school holidays etc, but that still makes me a week behind. I couldn't decide what to blog about, Haydn has been blogging all the important stuff and I didn't want to just make something up. Then I remembered I haven't recorded down Joshua's Birth experience yet, I have to get it down for posterity so if you don't want to read I don't care, but I for one LOVE hearing about other women's labours, like LOOOOOVVVVEEEE it. Probably because my births are the biggest 2 events in my life and I don't want to forget them, I don't want to experience them again I just don't want to forget them, soI love hearing how other women find it. (Did I post Gracie's Birth? I may have to do that one next week)
OK it all started Thursday morning (and yes he was born on a Monday) I had a bit of a show (sorry boys) which at the time I thought was heaps but was nothing compared to what I was getting from that moment on until labour. Then I got all excited, but had decided earlier on in the pregnancy that I wouldn't say anything to anybody until I was having contractions 5 mins apart. I had about 4 contractions every hour that day and they weren't bad but they were kind of regular so I told my two besties and my Mum and my husband and my midwife LOL. I Know I know, I can't hold off telling anybody anything to save my life. But in my defense both my Mum and midwife had told me that there was no way this second labour would take as long as Gracie's, so once they were regular I was excited and expected to be holding Joshua in my arms by the next morning but NOOOOOOOOOOO they carried on all night at 15 mins apart, I dozed on and off. By 6am they were totally gone and I went through the whole of Friday with NOTHING! I decided to forget about it and pretend that nothing was going on that way I wouldn't feel like it was dragging on forever, though in the back of my mind I was stressing out big time. The reason I was so stressed is I had everyone on standby, I had different options for Babysitters for Gracie and I was trying to warn them it might be soon, but then again I was telling my brain that nothing was happening. I tried to get things going myself as I was NOT going to get a stretch and sweep this time, I was going to let my body do what it wanted to do when it wanted to, so I walked, and walked, and walked, and walked. Friday night 11pm they got going again, a little stronger but still every 15 mins until 6am then they stopped again, this also happened Saturday night after a day of walking, and walking, and walking. I hadn't really slept so I stayed in bed Sunday morning after my contractions went away AGAIN, whilst Haydn went to church with Gracie, I told my midwife what was going on and being the impatient woman that I am, asked her to come and give me a stretch and sweep, she came over and examined me and said if I was only one or two cm's dilated she wouldn't give me one but if I was 3 or more she would and she would make sure we had the baby in the next 24 hours. I was DONE I was so annoyed that everyone was telling me how much quicker second labours were and Joshua's was actually LONGER (but less painful). She examined me and I was 4-5 cms!!! I wasn't even in labour (EXACTLY like Gracie) so she gave me a stretch and sweep (HORRIBLE on both the pain and embarrassment scale) then I went to Mums for dinner. The contractions started up again while I was there, still only 15mins apart but more painful and I went home knowing that tonight was the night, they continued to get stronger but only got to about 9 mins apart, at one point the contraction was so horrendously painful I cried and told Haydn I couldn't do it. I was sobbing. I was so upset because I still wasn't in established labour and so I knew this baby was AGES away and the weird thing was the contractions were just as painful as the ones at the end (you know the ones, the 'I wanna die' ones) so I didn't know what to do because I couldn't do this much longer. I was on my fourth night of next to no sleep. So I called my mum (who is a midwife and seeing as it was 4am I didn't want to call my ACTUAL midwife because i wasn't ACTUALLY in labour) she told me to get up, put on a movie, stay standing up and eat something, if I had a contraction i was to lean against the wall. By 7am they STILL hadn't gotten any closer together and were STILL very painful, Haydn was up and he was helping by pushing his fist into my lower back (HEAVEN) he wanted to know whether he should go to work or not as technically nothing was happening and I started to get really stressed. I didn't want to waste Haydn's only two days off work on false labour, and it was the last week of school so Haydn had lots of exciting days planned and he kept letting me know (thanks babe) which days he didn't want to miss and which days he was happy for me to have the baby (LIKE I COULD TIME IT). I didn't want to ask anyone to babysit Gracie and go into hospital if they were just going to send me home and THEN they STOPPED AGAIN!!!! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH it was obviously ALL in my head, my body just wasn't letting go because I was too stressed out. I texted my midwife and she told us to come into hospital and she would sort me out LOL. I started crying again because I didn't want to go in, as I knew they would send me home because I wasn't having any contractions. Then again I knew we had to do something, so I told Haydn to call work, I called Jackie and packed Gracie's bag and I announced that today we were HAVING THE BABY (because lets face it, if it were to go on another night I would have had a melt down......oh wait I already had one)
So we got to the hospital and Matty (Midwife) sent us walking up and down the stairs, I STILL wasn't getting contractions after about an hour and every time I would try and THINK myself into a contraction somebody would walk into the stairwell and it would die away (I know, I know I have mental problems) So I walked back up to Matty and I knew I was going to be sent home. She said she wanted to examine me, she wanted to break my waters, but because I was only a week over due I had to be in established labour before she was allowed. She also said that she tought it was all in my head (told you) and I wasn't letting go because I knew the pain that was about the come and the embarrassment of it all. When she examined me I was 6CM'S!! She looked at me and said 'Jess you are 6 cms, that's far enough along for me to be able to break your waters, WE ARE HAVING THIS BABY, do you want me to break them?' I freaked out this was IT! Half of me wanted to go home and try and get some sleep before the worst part started but half of me just wanted it done. She broke my waters while my Mum held my hand (this definitely was it because now everyone had seen everything and to make it worse I wasn't even on any Gas while I was on display :( ) Anyway, she sent me for another walk and I just kept praying and praying that this was it and it would be over quickly, I started having contractions pretty quickly, I had 3 all ten minutes apart and then old Haydn I wanted to go to our room because people were watching me, one woman even stopped in the stairwell with a very concerned face and bent down to ask me if I was ok IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CONTRACTION! It's just a contraction, but no I am not ok! Get out of my face lady!
We got up to the labour wards corridor and i had three in 15 mins YAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO established labour!! and then the next three were only three minutes apart, then I realized I had better ask for pain relief before they denied me of it like last time, but whilst walking the 20 meters to my room they were back to back!! OH NO!
NO EPIDURAL!!! KILL ME NOW!!!! It hadn't even been an hour since they broke my waters and I knew he was close, I asked for some gas and sucked it for dear life and then 30 seconds later I screamed 'Oh CRAP I have to push!' WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE SO FAR. They all got excited, (I HATE HATE HATE it when they do that) and they ripped my leggings and undies off (so undignified) I asked to get onto my back to push and started I was TERRIFIED I could feel him coming but the pain from my contractions wasn't really dying down like it did with Gracie, so I had pushing pain and contraction pain. Mum was telling Haydn to take the gas off of me because I wasn't concentrating. WHAT???!!!! I had only had it for 3 good puffs and now you want to take it away!!! NOT HAPPENING, so of course because I had the least control in the room they took it from me. I was SCREAMING! 'Pull him out of me' 'Get a knife and cut him out' 'I am going to die' I couldn't do it, I ACTUALLY couldn't do it, I wasn't pushing as well as I did with Gracie and he just wasn't coming out, Mum was telling me off telling me to stop grunting (Yup SHAMO) and put all the pressure into my bum (trust me, it sounds funny but as soon as I shut up and pushed into my bum he was almost out). At one point I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head and as Haydn's and my Mum's faces came towards me telling me not to give up, everything started going black, I tried to tell them 'I told you I was going to die and now I am dead' but then I started to come around again and I was so upset that I wasn't dead, like seriously I thought it was over and I was so excited.
When they finally told me the head was crowning I got a new energy and pushed his head out, it hurt like hell but I knew it was over, but then Mum and Matty started shouting and yelling 'you have to push again NOW' I was a little annoyed because once the head is out usually the rest just falls out but Joshies chord was round his neck and he was purple. So after one final PAINFUL push they pulled him out and placed him on my chest.
If you haven't had a baby NOBODY can explain to you the Joy, Relief and Happiness of that moment, NO more Contractions NO more pushing it is OVER and you have a BEAUTIFUL (even if he was a little purple) baby in your arms! I was crying, Mum was crying Haydn was crying and I was just so proud of myself.
My mind was officially blown! Just two hours before I was preparing for the 'you are going to have to go home and wait till these contractions really get going' speech and then BAM there's a baby.
I told Matty that next baby, I was coming in as soon as I have had a night of 15 minute apart contractions, she can burst my waters and then there will be an anesthetist waiting at the door ready to give me an epidural (which I have wanted for both babies but ne
ver got) what a perfect labour that will be. She said no, and that I can do it naturally no problems. NO PROBLEMS? yeah right, I thought I was dead, anyway, we will see who wins next labour. Probably her :(.
Well anyway at least Joshie's recovery made up for a horrible labour. NO stitches and I didn't need any panadol, I took it for a few hours because I was SURE pain was coming, but it didn't, within 2 days I was normal (down there) and because they put me on a drip for four hours due to heavy bleeding the bleeding after that only lasted 2 or so weeks, it was great!
I love Joshua and I love Gracie and even though I had nasty labours (according to me, I am sure women have had worse I just have a low pain threshold) I just adore them and would go through it again if that's what I had to do (is it wrong that I totally hesitated before I typed that last bit?) I know I should be happy that I get to have natural labours with no pain relief, because so many women have to get c-sections, but you know what in all honesty until I actually get a c-section and know what it is like I totally don't feel sorry for you guys LOL I am just being honest have a go at me if you want. The women I TRULY feel sorry for are the ones who do it all, contractions, pushing THE LOT and then get told they have to be rushed down for a c-section, now THAT would suck.
Anyway for women just about to do it, I have some advice. As SOON as you get to contractions five minutes apart and you don't think you can handle it, it gets WAY worse so ask for an epidural, because if you wait until breaking point they will try and put it off for a little while and then it will be too late!! Take Arnica post birth, I didn't with Gracie and then I did with Josh and it made a HUGE difference recovery wise (the no stitches thing helped too though) and take your own toilet paper to hospital, the stuff they have there is a cross between crepe paper and tracing paper, NOT nice!
Hopefully by next baby I will have it all sussed and contractions pushing AND recovery will be great.
Did I just say NEXT baby? Obviously the 'forget labour' hormones just kicked in.
p.s. I know this all sounds a bit grim but I wouldn't EVER tell a woman to not have a baby. I am EXTREMELY proud of myself for what I have now done twice and being a mother to my two beautiful children more than makes up for the pain, anxiety, tears, blood shed and embarrassment of labour.
Plus I am sure this won't put you off anyway because nobody can explain to you the true pain of labour, you have to go through it yourself.
ok can everybody else now please blog their own labour experiences so you can blow mine out of the water, because as much as I hate to admit it and as horrible as I made mine sound, it was actually (in my mother's words) totally normal! *sigh*
