Week Three of The Mum Challenge

This weeks challenge even though it is 5 days late (will explain later) is Live a FabuLESS Life.

The goal this week is make sure that you have realistic expectations. If your expectations are too high it only creates stress for both your child and you.

So this week look at your expectations. Is it realistic to expect a 3 year old to not only clean up their toys but to also have them put away in an organized way? How long do you really expect a 4 year old to last while you are grocery shopping after being out all day running errands? Straight A's for your child? How many activities do you expect your 3rd grader to excel in?

By adjusting your expectations - and thinking about it through your child's eyes - it can really help you be more understanding, less stressed and calm in a situation that would otherwise could drive you crazy! What expectations do you have of you child? Are they realistic ones?

I cannot even tell you how much I need these challenges from this blog in my life right now.

Before I update you on the first two weeks challenges I thought I should probably explain why I only got to post week 3's challenge on FRIDAY. The challenge is posted on this ladies blog on a Monday but that is U.S. time so my blog day is Tuesday BUT Monday night after an EXTREMELY emotionally and physically draining previous week (and I mean I was ready to go back to work full time, I didn't want to be a Mum anymore) I decided that by the end of Cleaning Monday I would do ZERO house work on Tuesday so I could play with Gracie all day and we would bake and draw and play in the paddling pool and go for a walk. At 10pm I was folding my last piece of laundry, the basket was EMPTY the house was PERFECT, and then I heard Gracie cry, she had thrown up in her bed. I could handle it, I had to count to ten because this meant one more load of laundry, but I was ok. I got her sheets in the machine, Haydn had a shower with Grace and it was all good. I was putting on the new set of sheets when BBBBLLLLLLLUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH here we go again!!

I picked her up and started RUNNING to the bathroom, she spewed on the clean washing and rug as I was running over it (DUH) and then she spewed on the bathroom floor, which I then ran through, slipped in, SMASHED my foot against the skirting board and broke my toe!! I tried to get Gracie over the toilet bowl to spew but I.WAS.DONE. I put her down and let her spew everywhere, my toe was bleeding, it had seized up and I couldn't move it, so after two previously broken toes I knew it was broken. I was sobbing (looking back now and picturing the event, it actually seems quite funny, but at the time it was the end of the world). Haydn dealt with Gracie and I was a mess.

I asked Haydn to get the phone and I rang my Mum. She told me what to do with my toe, (I wasn't going to a&e again just for them to strap it together after a 3 hour wait) she told me what to do with Gracie and then told me what to do to sort out my mental problems, as I was convinced that because I had cried everyday for the last three weeks that I had postnatal depression.

Haydn cleaned up most of the spew and I disinfected. We got it contained to the sink but didn't get much sleep. Haydn dealt with Gracie seeing as I couldn't walk and I dealt with Joshie, Haydn took Tuesday off work to help us out. Gracie was good by the end of Tuesday and Wednesday (Haydn's birthday) went really well we though it was over. Then Thursday morning 4am I was up feeding Joshie and feeling a bit sick, then I heard Gracie crying and went in to see her kneeling in another pool of vomit YAY!

I managed to deal with it as my foot wasn't too bad and Haydn helped, by the time it was sorted it was 6am so Haydn just started getting ready for work and told me that I needed to ring Mum and ask her to help me. THEN I started spewing! ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH, Haydn still left for work cause by then it was too late to get a substitute and I knew it wouldn't be a good day.

Joshie was fine and in between spewing up every 20mins I fed him laid him on the bed to have a kick around while I dozed in and out then I changed his nappy and got him down again, Gracie had finished throwing up but the diarrhea had started, I changed about three nappies and threw up after each one. I got worse and worse but managed to move the TV into the bedroom early so we could all hang out in there and contain it, I got so bad that I couldn't even reach over to grab my powerade my whole body was aching even my TEETH were aching, and I couldn't get hold of Mum or Haydn to come home. Gracie was jumping on my and jumped on my TOE and she was waking Joshie up, it was like my own personal HELL right there in my bedroom. Finally Haydn came home and I got some sleep and finally stopped spewing. Worst day of my life so far, I mean being sick is horrible enough when you are alone, but when you have a 10 week old baby and a 23 month old poohing spewing toddler jumping on your broken toe and you just happen to be a clean freak, it's not so fun!

Anyway it's over and today is a good day. Mum gave me some good advice that will hopefully help my hormonal problems I have been having over the last three weeks and I have been able to put them into practice and I am feeling a bit better already. So I have forgiven myself for getting this post out late and now I will fill in with details of the last two weeks challenges..........

Week one: Eat dinner with your Family Each Night

Once we got going on this it went well, Monday didn't happen because I was FUMING at Haydn (another long story and I am sure I will bore you) so we ate in silence in front of the TV and computer, Tuesday was Valentines night and Haydn had worked late and I had another really hard day so we actually just blobbed out again and ate on the sofa lol, Wednesday Haydn had Rugby so he ate when he got home and then FINALLY on thursday we ate together and friday and saturday and sunday. It was great, we made more of an effort with conversation we actually had a good old laugh a few times (which hasn't been happening lately, because of my hormonal problems since birth) the conversation actually seemed to last longer into the evening and it is actually quite therapeutic to have someone to listen to how your day went and the things that happened. We also managed to really help Gracie with her eating and table manners, I loved it and I can't wait for our kids to be older so we can talk to them too. I actually found this really cool thing on Pinterest which is a jar full of questions. You pick one question each time you sit down to dinner and everyone has a turn answering, this is it here. Anyway the week went well and our goal is to do it at least 5 times every week (2days break for Haydn's church meeting and Rugby). I thought we had an excuse before seeing as we don't have much room to pull our dining table out and only have two chairs (one being used to strap gracie's booster seat) but we cleared the table and set it every night. I pulled up Gracie's little drawing table up and used it as a bench LOL so even poor people can make it work haha.

Week 2: Slow Down

Now I didn't know about this challenge until Tuesday so we will forgive me for my HIDEOUSLY horrible stressful and angry Monday (the day I was mad at Haydn and I didn't get to do any of my weekly clean because of what he did) Anyway Tuesday was HEAPS better I was still mad at Haydn but it was valentines day so I decided not to sweat the small stuff (after reading the new challenge) and the kids stayed happy. I found that it wasn't so much slowing down that helped for the rest of the week, it was my attitude. If Gracie threw a tantrum for no good reason I ignored her and counted to ten in my head, if Joshie needed me I went to him and gave him what he needed and if I really couldn't get to him (because food was on the stove top cooking) I switched off to his crying and remained calm until I could get to him. I didn't clean the bathroom last week LOL not because I was 'slowing down' and giving up on hygiene but because a lot of stuff came up with Gracie. Instead of leaving her to scream and cry and get all worked up which would eventually lead to me getting all angry and worked up, I just accepted that Gracie needed me. Even if I had done the bathroom it would have looked dirty again by the next day so who CARES! It was almost back round to Cleaning Monday anyway LOL. There were a few things that I let Gracie do with me that would usually stress me out to the MAX like letting her help me wash up. EVERY time I start washing up she drags her little chair across the tiles (making a noise which tortures me like you can't even imagine) and I start shouting 'No no NOOOOO, put the chair back and play with your toys', which she usually ignores and then I take the chair away from her and place her in the lounge with her toys and then I carry on doing the dishes by myself with her crying in the background. BUT this week I let her drag her chair over (shiver) and let her splash around in the bubbles, it was ACTUALLY a pleasant experience, I got over the fact that we were both getting wet (it's JUST water Jessie) and that water was going all over the floor (there is a tea towel RIGHT behind you Jessie) and afterwards Gracie was happy and I was stress free and she let me go and get on with something else while she played alone for a little while, it only took me five minutes to give her the attention she needed. I also found that letting her help me bath and change Joshies nappy (which I NEVER let her do, I mean hello it's POOH), really helped keep her in a good mood because she felt like she was involved. All in a week Gracie learnt to count from 7 to 10 LOL she hasn't got 4, 5 or 6 yet. She learnt some new colours Yellow, Purple and Brown. She is putting a lot more small sentences together and instead of getting frustrated when she gets a toy stuck or she can't get to something, I taught her to say 'Mummy help!" since then the noise level has gone RIGHT down. She also wants to cuddle and kiss me all the time! All because I am giving her my undivided attention for 15min spurts during the day and I am not trying to sneak off to clean something else, but I did significantly less housework last week and my house still looks the same. I even managed to get out a go see a movie this week with some friends even though Gracie was sick and the housework had fallen apart and I was a LOT happier for it and managed to get on top of things afterwards with a better attitude. Since doing this challenge I now have a little 'perfect' Jessie sitting on my shoulder telling me to slow down and she wins 99% of the time, I definitely still lose my temper but we have to remember my hormonal issues which need a little bit of attention.

I am looking forward to this weeks challenge, let the FabuLESS life begin (and the Vitamin B6 pills work!) (and the vomiting bug disappear forever) (and Haydn behave like a 28 year old) (and 10 kgs just fall off my body) (and money appear so I can get my hair cut and stop feeling so ugly) oh wait wait wait........are my expectations realistic?